Growing up, I attended a wide range of schools -- Head Start on an Indian reservation in Arizona, two struggling schools in St. Louis' inner-ring suburbs, an Episcopal school in the Florida panhandle, and a Catholic convent school on the Dutch-German border.

When I moved to Rochester from South Carolina as an adult, my daughter was three years old. I wanted to send her to a Montessori school and the only public Montessori school in Monroe County was in the Rochester City School District. Plus, the city had an IB program. What more could a relocating parent want, I thought? And so we settled
in the city.

My first few months in Monroe County were confusing. I had no connections here, so no one told me not to inform people that I had settled in the city because I liked the city schools. Eventually I figured it out – largely because people kept backing away from me while keeping their eyes on the nearest door.

Like many RCSD parents, I sometimes wonder how to feel comfortable with my choice when simply naming my child's school can bring dinner-party conversation to a standstill.

But when I think about the varied (and not always high-performing) schools I attended, I am glad that my own education was so interesting and gave me so much to think about as an adult.

When I think about the schools where I taught in my twenties -- schools in Kazakhstan and Bulgaria that were cold or had no photocopiers or functioning chalkboards -- I cannot help but remember my students, who hard-working and tough and self-reliant and hungry for news of the world. When I talk to my daughter's classmates, I see some of the same traits in
them.

I look at my daughter and realize that she has been very fortunate in her education. She has attended two very interesting, academically sound elementary schools, first Montessori and now School 15, which specializes in educating a truly international student body. At school 15, my daughter works on long division and dissects owl pellets with children from several continents. At both of her schools, my daughter has had fantastic, inspired teachers.

I believe in the importance of great teaching. I believe that students who work hard in school can become terrific scholars, no matter what their home lives or school buildings are like, provided that their teachers believe in them and have a passion for teaching.

I think the single most toxic aspect of urban education is the general air of pessimism that surrounds it: the idea that "those kids need to be kept away from my kid." Or the idea that, until the starry future arrives, bringing us a European-style social welfare net, there's nothing to be done for poor urban kids.

I think the idea that good parents don't send their kids to urban schools is deeply offensive.

At the same time, we all -- those of us who send our children to urban schools and those of us who don't -- need to improve urban schools. We need to find ways to make sure children get to school and that, when they get there, their needs are accurately assessed and addressed. We need to make sure administrators and teachers don't tell parents that their expectations are unreasonable. We need to make sure urban teachers receive the respect and empathy they deserve.

In addition, urban parents should to be able to talk to each other – to ask other RCSD parents for their perspectives and for their recipes for academic success -- and also for their recipes for birthday cakes and bake sales. We should ask parents of older children for their advice. We should be visible enough that prospective RCSD parents can find us,
hear us, and ask us questions.

Please join us in this conversation!

~ Santosha Kuykendall